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23 March 2007 @ 10:32 am
Walking and talking and blasting robots.  
A short scene, that is what I imagine you can expect to see in Aaron Sorkin's script for the musical based on the Flaming Lips' album Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots:



(STUART, a harried young intern, walks quickly into the office of YOSHIMI, a petite Japanese woman in a yellow dress, crystal-blue hat, and small boots. She is tossing items in the air, clearly looking for something.)

STUART: Miss, ah, Yoshimi, I have--
YOSHIMI: (muttering) Lousy nunchuks.
STUART: --a message for...did you say nunch...what did you just say?
YOSHIMI: I can't find my lousy nunchuks.
STUART: Oh.

(Pause.)

STUART: Do you mean that the nunchuks are lousy or--?
YOSHIMI: Can I help you?
STUART: Because if they're lousy maybe you don't want to find them.
YOSHIMI: I mean that it's lousy that I can't find them.
STUART: Right.
YOSHIMI: They were Fong Woo brand. Fong Woo doesn't make lousy nunchuk. They've been making nunchuk since the invention of the weapon and they're artists with the form. I'll bet you didn't know that.
STUART: No. Um, listen--
YOSHIMI: (calling outside the office) Nancy!

(NANCY, a secretary in her 40s, enters with a clipboard. They speak together.)

NANCY: (indicating the clipboard) You need to sign--
YOSHIMI: --Nancy have you seen my--
NANCY: --needs to go out this afternoon--
YOSHIMI: (signing the paper on the clipboard)--they look like two pieces of wood with a chain--
NANCY: --I know what they look like. The Fong Woos.
YOSHIMI: Have you?
NANCY: The nunchuks? No. Lloyd wants to reschedule your lunch meeting.
YOSHIMI: Fine.
NANCY: Also, that laser pistol you ordered--
YOSHIMI: --don't tell me.
NANCY: In transit.
YOSHIMI: They said that the last--
NANCY: --it's in Idaho.
YOSHIMI: Idaho.
NANCY: Boise, Idaho.
YOSHIMI: Nancy.
NANCY: I know.
YOSHIMI: Nancy.
NANCY: I'm working on it.
YOSHIMI: Why is my laser pistol in Idaho?
NANCY: I said--
YOSHIMI: --is there some reason Idaho needs my laser pistol more than I do?
NANCY: I don't--
YOSHIMI: --is there some kind of mutant potato infestation I should be aware of? Some sort of révolution de pomme that requires quelling?
NANCY: Maybe. I'll look into it. (She glances at the coat rack.) And your nunchuks are right there.

(YOSHIMI looks at the nunchuks and then takes them, crisply.)

NANCY: That'll be--?
YOSHIMI: --Yes.

(NANCY exits. STUART has been standing there the whole time. YOSHIMI swings the nunchuks around, practicing, and catches STUART in the face. He falls. It is hilarious.)

YOSHIMI: Are you still there?
STUART: Ouch.
YOSHIMI: You should say something so I don't nunchuk you in the face.
STUART: Ouch.
YOSHIMI: Seriously.
STUART: You can use nunchuk as a verb?
YOSHIMI: Sure. "To nunchuk." It's a verb. Did you have something--?
STUART: --a message.
YOSHIMI: I really am sorry about the--
STUART: --it's fine. You need to know that we're being invaded.
YOSHIMI: Invaded?
STUART: Right.
YOSHIMI: Mutant potatoes?
STUART: No--
YOSHIMI: I was just kidding about that, you can't be telling me--
STUART: --it's not. It's robots.
YOSHIMI: Robots?
STUART: Yes.
YOSHIMI: Actual robots?
STUART: Pink robots.
YOSHIMI: Pink?
STUART: That's what the message says.
YOSHIMI: Salmon or rose?
STUART: I...think it's a range of tints and hues.
YOSHIMI: Pink robots. Well. I guess I should--
STUART: --go--?
YOSHIMI: --battle them. Right. (Calling outside the office.) Nancy, if my laser pistol makes it in from Montana--
NANCY: (offstage) --Idaho!
YOSHIMI: Idaho, please have it sent to wherever I happen to be battling the pink robots? (She presses a button on her belt. A jetpack suddenly appears on her back.) And tell Lloyd we'll just have to cancel until further notice? (To STUART.) I didn't catch your name.
STUART: It's, ah, Stuart.
YOSHIMI: You did good, kid. You did good.

(YOSHIMI jets out of the office window. "Do You Realize??" begins to play, softly. Blackout.)
 
 
Current Mood: creativecreative
Current Music: Flaming Lips, "Prescription Love"
 
 
 
benjamin sTone: Noribenchilada on March 23rd, 2007 02:10 pm (UTC)
That is like hot, buttery sex, with extra butter.

No.

With X-TRA butter.
Literary Latchkeyspikedrumpunch on March 23rd, 2007 02:16 pm (UTC)
I like it. I like it a lot.
Froborr d'Wiggy: Cephy the Head Squidfroborr_dwiggy on March 23rd, 2007 02:21 pm (UTC)
Are you sure you're not Aaron Sorkin's evil alternate-dimension clone robot double? On crack?

A tip o' the head squid to you, kid. You did good.
911939911939 on March 23rd, 2007 02:23 pm (UTC)
The fact that this musical is going to happen is just flat-out cool.

Nice scene. :)
(Deleted comment)
THOM'S NEST (formerly: blackrabbitpix)blackrabbitpix on March 23rd, 2007 02:43 pm (UTC)
actually, i don't like it. it reads like a template.
Bilal Dardai: Time Remainingbdar on March 23rd, 2007 02:46 pm (UTC)
You're fine not to like it, but I have no idea what you mean by "It reads like a template."

It's a parody. It's meant to read like a template of Sorkin's work.
THOM'S NEST (formerly: blackrabbitpix)blackrabbitpix on March 23rd, 2007 02:53 pm (UTC)
if i watched tv i'd know it was a parody. my mistake.
i was misled . . . misled, i tellsya!
evil_egg on March 23rd, 2007 02:53 pm (UTC)
"Why is my laser pistol in Idaho?"

Absolute genius
David R Williamsshadowofsummer on March 23rd, 2007 03:36 pm (UTC)
Haha :D
spygrl1spygrl1 on March 23rd, 2007 07:07 pm (UTC)
Fantabulous!
(Anonymous) on April 17th, 2007 12:53 pm (UTC)
BRILLIANT!
This is fantabulous! Spot on. "Making nunchuck since the invention of the weapon"

"revolution de pomme"

Brilliant.